In my opinion a non-custodial parent who has decided to no longer take an interest in their child’s life and abandon them emotionally and physically is far worse than a non-custodial parent who does not pay child support. Granted, child support is important in maintaining the child’s financial needs. But the lack of emotional and physical support of a parent can leave a devastating impact on the life of their child.
And not only do these absent non-custodial parents write off their children they often blame the custodial parent for their actions. I suppose having a scape goat may help soothe a guilty conscience. Blaming the custodial parent can also help with being seen as the “victim.”
I think that many absent non-custodial parents do not visit their child because they HATE the custodial parent. They HATE that person so much that they can’t even look at their own child. I honestly do not understand this. When I look at my children I do not see their father….I see my child. Hating the other parent is not an excuse for abandoning your child.
Then there are some absent non-custodial parents that will use the excuse they cannot deal with the custodial parent. If you cannot deal with them, for whatever reasons, then you go to court and get a court order to involve a third party that makes it so you don’t have to see the custodial parent. Not being able to deal with the other parent is not an excuse for abandoning your child.
Another excuse that is used is that the absent non-custodial parent is so emotionally upset over the situation that they can’t visit the child. It hurts them too much! What about your child? What a self-absorbed defense! Think about your child’s feelings before your own. Not being able to deal with the situation is not an excuse for abandoning your child.
To make matters worse many of these absent non-custodial parents seem to think that when the child is grown they will be there for the parent who abandoned them with arms wide open. All they need are their asinine excuses and their child will understand. Many non-custodial parents will put down the custodial parent right at the beginning of the first conversation with their estranged child. Not only have they abandoned their child now they are insulting their intelligence. A child knows the parent that has been there. They know if that parent is a liar or if they have been truthful. They know if the custodial parent has put their needs first. They know if the custodial parent has ever talked badly to them about the other parent. They know what kind of a person their custodial parent is. Children are not as gullible as you may think! They know!
So before you turn your back on your child because things with the other parent are not going your way, think and think hard! You are about to abandon an innocent child, a human being who will need and want both parents in their life. Abandoning a child is inexcusable! So step up and be the parent that you would want!
© Cheryl Wright 2014